Friday, May 1, 2009

It Ain't Easy Bein' Swine!



To borrow a line from Don Corleone in The Godfather...."How did we let it get this far?"

This has got to be a first for me, oh gentle readers. I'm coming to the defense of all pigs, everywhere. In the wake of the panic generated by the onset of the "swine flu" pandemic I just want you to take time to think about this...the world's porkers need some love right now. And if you could see the mess my bedroom is right now, not to mention all of the junk in the backyard, you'd know that I'm well qualified to roll around with my fellow pigs.

Think about it. Pigs have been getting a bad rap for centuries. First our Jewish friends, and then our Muslim brothers and sisters, have decided that pigs were unclean and won't eat them, or keep them. In Orwell's Animal Farm the pigs were the bad guys....fascists, if you will. The Three Little Pigs....two of the three were so damned lazy they deserved to get eaten by the wolf!

And I've never even mentioned Hunter Thompson's book Generation of Swine...another pejorative.

If you eat too much... you're a pig; if your sloppy.... you're a pig; if you're a male chauvinist...you're a pig; if your little brother picked his nose he's a pig (not me..I never picked. Like Seinfeld, I was just rubbing).

Even "positive role model pigs" were somewhat flawed. Poor Porky Pig had that severe speech impediment. Now, I'm not down on him for that; he couldn't help it. But face it; nobody was ever going find Porky Pig in a MENSA meeting. God, he was dumb. Very funny...but stupid.

Miss Piggy? She loved a frog. Enough said.

And Babe? Don't get me started on that mental case. He thought he was a border collie and wanted to herd sheep!

But Babe was half as crazy as this- the government of Egypt wants to slaughter all 300,000 pigs in Egypt to prevent the spread of swine flu. Never mind that (a) Egypt has yet to have a case of reported swine flu or (B) Most experts agree that pigs do not harbor the H1N1 virus and cannot pass it on to humans.

Egypt's Health MinisterHatem el Gabaly has said the following-
"It has been decided to immediately start slaughtering all the pigs in Egypt using the full capacity of the country's slaughterhouses,"


And now here's the newest wrinkle in the situation...the pig farmers of America are cautioning people to stay away from their pigs because swine can pick up the H1N1 virus from humans, not the other way around.

Pig's reputations are probably at an all time low thanks to the H1N1 virus. There's only one way for them to rehab that damaged rep.

He need a new Green Acres!

We need a new Arnold.

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